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Writer's pictureKathryn Davis

The Family Member's Guide to the PhD

<<Blogs are back! The transition back to the academic year from fieldwork was a rough one, and I have been absolutely slammed with a variety of things (which I hope to talk about in my next post). For now, I give you a post that I started writing quite some time ago:>>


So, a member of your family has been accepted into a PhD program! Congratulations! You must be very proud.

But...you're not quite sure what it means to get a PhD? Not sure why someone would unless they want to be a professor? Thought they were done with school? Wondering why they don’t just get a “real job?”

The process of getting a PhD can be a bit mysterious to those on the outside. Even if you have one! If your family member is in a different field or if enough time has passed, things might look a bit different from when you were in their shoes.


The first thing you need to know is that no two PhDs are alike. Everything I share in this blog post will be based on my experience and the people I know, but a PhD can look very different depending on many things, including but not limited to:

  • The student's field of study

  • The university where they are studying

  • The country they are studying in (this post will be US-centric as the European system is quite different)

  • The structure of their program/their home department within their university

  • Whether or not they already have a Master's degree

  • If their project is fully funded (I will explain this later)

  • If fieldwork or labwork is involved

In light of these complexities, while I hope this guide can provide a starting point, ultimately the only way to know what the PhD student in your family is going through is to ask. But hopefully, this guide will give you some of the necessary vocabulary to ask more informed questions.


Some Vocabulary!

Before we get started, we should probably cover some basic vocabulary.

Doctorate: the word "doctorate" can refer to a variety of degrees obtained after an undergraduate education, including the degrees obtained by medical doctors (MDs), veterinarians (VMDs or DVMs), lawyers (JDs), and researchers (PhD).

PhD: a PhD is a type of doctorate based on research. A PhD can be earned in any field (including medicine, veterinary medicine, and law), but is distinguished from other types of doctorates by the completion of a large research project and a dissertation. PhD stands for Doctor of Philosophy and may be abbreviated as DPhil at some institutions.

Dissertation: A dissertation is defined as a "long essay" which vastly understates the amount of effort going into it. The dissertation is the end goal of the PhD. In it, the student writes up all of the research they have conducted over the last several years. They submit this document to a committee, who will review it and decide if the student's work is worthy of a PhD.

Committee: A group of professors or people with PhDs who decides if the student advances through each stage of their PhD. The exact number varies between programs, but students are almost always required to have an "outside member" - a professor or other PhD-holder who does not work within their home department at their university (mine, for example, works for the National Parks Service). The committee formally evaluates the student at three different times: the proposal defense, qualifying exams, and the dissertation defense (this may vary by institution). They may also meet regularly to monitor the student's progress.

Advisor: The PhD student's boss and mentor. The advisor (often referred to as a PI or principal investigator) is a professor who oversees the development of the student's research. The advisor is the chair of the student's committee and makes most of the final decisions regarding paperwork and funding. The advisor has a lot of control over the student's future, and a bad one can make the whole process miserable.

PhD Candidate: A PhD student who has passed their qualifying exams.

Postdoc (Postdoctoral researcher): A researcher who has completed a PhD but hasn't secured a permanent research position. Postdoc positions typically last 1-3 years. A postdoc typically works under an advisor, similar to a PhD student, but is much more independent and often helps advise the advisor's students. A postdoc is NOT a student.

Grant: A fund provided by an organization (such as a charity, a federal agency, or a university) to support research. Grants can vary from small ($500) to large (>$1 million). They may have specific stipulations as to what they can be spent on (i.e., travel, or supplies, or salary). Grants are typically obtained by submitting an application packet consisting of, at minimum, a project narrative and budget, though they may ask for additional essay-style answers to questions, CVs of the student and/or PI, letters of recommendation, or whatever they want, really.

Fellowship: A type of grant that provides living expenses (stipend) for a graduate student. This is not the only definition of a fellowship, but I think it most effectively conveys the reality of most fellowships.


The Overall Structure of a PhD

Per my disclaimer above, the structure of a PhD can differ wildly, especially between fields and institutions. From what I have seen at LSU, UCLA, and UWyo though, there is a basic pattern.

(at least within STEM fields; I believe the basic outline of this structure applies to the humanities, but I am not 100% certain).


1) Coursework: in the US, PhDs require some coursework. The amount varies by institution. Credit from a Master's degree or other graduate work can reduce the number of required course credits. Most students are done with coursework after 2-3 years.


2) The Proposal Defense: When a student begins their PhD, they may or may not know what their project will be focused on. Some institutions encourage students to spend a year reading and taking courses before deciding what they want to research. Eventually, the student writes up a proposal which they may present at a public seminar (again, very program dependent), where anyone who attends can ask questions. After the public proposal, they meet with their committee, who review the proposal in more detail, ask the student difficult questions, and decide if they will approve the proposal for the student's dissertation. This usually happens within a student's first two years (though not always).


3) Qualifying Exams: Known by many names (Quals, Preliminary Exams, Prelims, Generals), these exams are one of the most stressful parts of the PhD process. The timing can differ across programs, but in mine, students are expected to take their exams once they have completed the required coursework (around the end of Year 3). These exams are typically divided into two parts: Writtens and Orals. Again, the structure of the exams can differ, but in my program, each committee member assigns a written question, and the student is given one week to complete all of the questions. Then, a short period later (about two weeks), they meet with their committee for their Orals. In the Oral exam, the committee may question the student about anything they think a PhD candidate should know. They may follow up on the student's answers to the Writtens. When a student passes their Qualifying Exams, they become a PhD candidate. This may make them eligible for additional sources of funding. It may also come with a (slight) raise to their stipend from their institution.


4) Dissertation Defense: The last major hurdle a PhD student has to overcome is the dissertation defense. When they've completed their research, done all of the analysis, and written it up in one giant essay, they send the essay (dissertation) to their committee. I’m referring to it as an essay because that’s the Google definition, but it’s really more comparable to a book. The committee will read the dissertation, nit-picking it and looking for problems. The student then holds a public defense, similar to the proposal defense, where they give an hour-long presentation summing up all of the work they did over the course of their PhD. Family members and friends can attend the public defense and ask questions. Afterward, the student meets in private with their committee, who will hit them with all of the hard questions, interrogate them about all of their methodological decisions, and, hopefully, after a grueling few hours, pass them. The student may have to make some revisions based on the issues the committee found, but if they pass, this is the moment when they become a Doctor.


5) Graduation: Many PhD students choose not to walk, as they don't necessarily graduate with a cohort the way that undergraduates do. However, they do get the option to wear all of the funny clothes and hats and receive their PhD on stage.

You thought normal caps and gowns are funny? PhD regalia takes it to the next level
Clunky website image of black and blue PhD regalia, including gown, hood (which drapes down the back) and cap (seriously, are we wearing stop signs on our heads now instead of squares?)
You thought a normal cap and gown was funny looking? PhD regalia takes it to a whole new level.
The PhD as a Job

One thing that can be difficult for family members of PhD students to understand is that the PhD student is not a student in the way you're used to thinking about it.

Most time spent as a "student" is spent taking classes, completing assignments, receiving grades, and moving on to the next class. This is true of primary school, high school, undergrad, and even, to large degree, medical, veterinary, or law school. Being a PhD student is different.


Pursuing a PhD is most similar to being an apprentice - it is essentially on-the-job training for a career in research. In the beginning, the student does spend some time in traditional classes, but they also spend time familiarizing themselves with their field (reading textbooks and papers), beginning the research on their subject (which could look like fieldwork, labwork, or diving into historical or museum records), and getting trained in specific techniques they will need. They receive this training from their advisor, more advanced students, and postdocs, as well as from their courses or one-off workshops. In the apprenticeship metaphor for the PhD, we could consider the qualifying exams as the step to becoming a "journeyman."


At the same time that they are taking courses, the student begins collecting the data they need for their research. The data can take a variety of forms: the number of deer in different habitats, DNA sequences, historical newspaper clippings, survey responses, skull measurements, etc. These data do not exist in a vacuum - the student often has many collaborators who are dependent on them collecting this information and processing it into something usable: a model of deer habitat use, a gene target for drug development, a book, a policy recommendation. In this way, they are already doing the work of a researcher.


In addition to their coursework and their research, many students are funded on some kind of assistantship, which brings us to a new vocabulary section:


Graduate Assistant (GA): The catchall term. If a student is a GA, they may be a TA or an RA (listed below) or they may have some kind of admin position within the university. Sometimes students can be hired as admin assistants, writing tutors, lab technicians, or a variety of other positions within the university.

Teaching Assistant/Graduate Teaching Assistant (TA/GTA): The best known. A TA is a graduate student who helps teach a course. Sometimes they give lectures, sometimes they lead discussions or labs, and almost always they do a lot of grading. The workload of a TAship can vary wildly depending on the course and the professor teaching the course. While most TAships typically carry a work requirement of 20 hours, I know students who have to invest more to get their jobs done, and I know students who luck out and only have to work a few hours a week.

Research Assistant (RA): The most desired. An RA is a student who gets paid to...do their research! This usually happens when a student is supported by a large grant or a fellowship.


Under any of these assistantships, a student is expected to dedicate 20 hours a week to their "job." This is often a very inaccurate number, as students who are designing lectures and grading can often end up working more than that. This number also ignores the fact that the research GAs and TAs are doing (which only RAs get paid for), is work. The student is producing research of value, even early on in their program, but they are often not getting paid for that time. And when you combine coursework, the responsibilities of an assistantship, and long hours collecting data in the field, lab, or archives, the result is often more than a 40 hour work week.


The Funding Situation

To add to the fact that many PhD students don't get paid for the real work they are doing, PhD students may be responsible for securing funding for their project. Most advisors encourage their students to apply for fellowships, which will supply living stipends, so that the student doesn't have to spend time working as a TA or GA and can focus exclusively on their research. Some common fellowships include the Graduate Research Fellowship Program (GRFP) from the National Science Foundation (NSF) and the Ford Foundation Fellowship, both of which are extremely competitive. These fellowships not only free the student from assistantship responsibilities to focus on their research, but they are also very prestigious. Many fellowships are restricted to certain time periods. For example, the GRFP is only available to first or second year students, while other fellowships may be designated for students in their final year (the idea being that they are freed from other work responsibilities to focus on finishing their dissertation).


Some students, however, have to pursue funding to support the costs of their research as well. In my field (wildlife ecology/biology), I feel that there are two main kinds of PhD projects.

 

(1) The fully-funded project. If a project is fully-funded, it is usually because the advisor prepared a large grant application, successfully received that grant, and then advertised for a PhD student (literally, just like a job ad). The student then comes into the lab knowing that they will work on that project and that most of the fieldwork and labwork costs will be covered by the advisor. A truly, fully-funded project will also includes funds for the PhD student's stipend. The student may be expected to apply to a grant or two, but that’s usually just for the experience/to help out a bit, not because the project would fail without it.

(2) The student-driven project. Typically, student-driven projects are not fully-funded, mostly because students don't have access to the same large-scale grants their advisors can apply for. A student may opt for the uncertainty of an unfunded project for several reasons. It may offer them more intellectual freedom to define their research questions. It will give them more experience in project management and building collaborations. They may be bringing questions and collaborators from some previous work they did in their Master's or a previous job. A good advisor will help the PhD student get funds for this work, and include their project as part of larger grants, but this route results in a lot more uncertainty for the student.


While a fully-funded student may apply to a few grants at the encouragement of their advisor, they are usually doing it for the experience and prestige. It shouldn't take up the majority of their time. A non-fully funded student is doing it because otherwise, they might not get paid while doing fieldwork over the summer, or they will have to TA every semester of their degree. They may need funds to buy their supplies or pay for travel to their field sites. Grant application deadlines tend to fall on similar dates (March, October, and December are common deadline months), resulting in the student spending most of their time in the weeks leading up to deadlines writing and revising furiously. If the PhD student in your family is not fully funded and mentions that they're currently working on a lot of grant applications, recognize that this is a stressful time for them.


As an additional note, even though most PhD students are underpaid and this is a generally accepted fact in academia, for students from low income backgrounds, their PhD stipend might be more money than their parents ever earned. They might even be sending money home to help their family. It does not change the fact that PhD students often don’t get paid for the true number of hours they work.

A scatterplot comparing the living wage on the x-axis to graduate student stipends on the y-axis. Most data points fall below what would be a one-to-one relationships, indicating that stipends are lower than the living wage.
Want some data to back up the claim that grad students are underpaid? Check out this article: https://cnsmaryland.org/2023/03/29/grad-student-stipends-often-fall-short-of-the-living-wage/

The Job Market

The post-PhD job market is its whole own topic, and one with which I don't (yet) have personal experience. However, I have seen friends go through it.

One thing worth noting: when the PhD student in your family is close to finishing their degree, they will likely have no idea where they are going to end up living. Especially if they want to be a professor. Academic jobs at universities are extremely limited, and obviously tied to the location of the university. As much as the student might like to live near you, they may not have much choice. And if they go on to do a postdoc for a year or two, they will likely have to move more than once. This uncertainty can be an additional source of stress for the soon-to-graduate or recently graduated. When they find a job, they'll let you know. Try not to interrogate them too much about the application process.


What NOT to say to the PhD student in your family

This list is informed by personal experience, conversations with friends, and observations of common themes on academic social media accounts.


  • When do you graduate?

No two programs are alike. A student who focuses on mathematical theory is going to have a very different timeline from one who has to spend 3 years collecting data. Lack of funding may slow them down, experiments may fail. The student will tell you when their dissertation defense is scheduled. Until then, I would recommend not asking them when they’ll finish. Treat it more like a job rather than school; they’ll get a new job when it makes sense to, not because of a defined deadline.


  • You're just a student.

If you've read this far and still think your family member is just a student, then I have failed in explaining the PhD at all. The process of getting a PhD is the process of leading and completing a significant research project. It can involve managing collaborators, hiring technicians, training undergraduates, tracking inventory, building budgets, and applying for grants in addition to taking classes, teaching classes, collecting data, and learning to analyze that data. I promise your family member is not spending most of their day sitting in a classroom getting lectured at like they were in undergrad.


  • Why don't you get a real job?

Your family member may be severely underpaid, but that is not their fault. They are doing a real job, they are just being undervalued for it. They most likely see a light at the end of the tunnel, where they will get a "real job" that pays them decently and they can work on the thing they are passionate about. But until they get there, don't diminish the work they do now.


  • So, you're going to be a professor?

Professorship is not the only career path available to PhD holders. While your family member may want to teach, perhaps they find the idea of teaching at the high school level more appealing. If they don't want to teach, they may be interested in pursuing research scientist positions with the government, non-profit organizations, museums, or in industry. Or maybe they’re politically-minded and want to focus on communicating the science they know to politicians in a public policy position. There are many potential job paths for a PhD-holder and being a professor is becoming both more difficult and much rarer in the current job market.


  • I thought you were done with classes!

Most PhD programs require at least some coursework. Even if the student has finished the required number of credits, a professor may suddenly offer a new course in something that interests them. The goal of the PhD is to learn about a variety of topics and skills, so if that course is useful to the student, they will likely take it even if they have met their program's requirements.


How to support the PhD student in your family

(A non-exhaustive list)


  • Words of encouragement

If nothing else, encourage the PhD student in your family. If they come to you, stressed, acknowledge that the PhD is a huge undertaking, and they are juggling a lot of balls. Encourage them to find time for themselves - to rest, to exercise, to do their hobbies, to spend time with friends and family. Remind them that their worth is separate from their degree, and that all they can do is their best. Some students are stuck in somewhat toxic situations with unrealistic work expectations – try to encourage them to reduce the number of 12-hour lab days and actually eat a full meal instead of subsisting on break-room coffee.


  • A gift card to their favorite coffee shop

Graduate students are notoriously over-caffeinated. Caffeine is not only a necessity to get through long days in the lab or grading papers, but often a large part of socializing with other graduate students. We regularly offer to buy each other coffee in exchange for help figuring out an analytical problem, a sympathetic ear to rant about bad undergrad essays, or just to get out of the office and stretch our legs. Go the extra mile and use google maps to figure out what local coffee shop is closest to your family member's college campus.


  • Buying textbooks they want/need

Textbooks are not used in graduate school the same way they are in undergrad. Oftentimes, we purchase textbooks that are completely unrelated to our classes, because they provide an overview of topics more relevant to our research. This is important preparation for our qualifying exams. However, textbooks are expensive!


  • Food

Graduate students are not excluded from the stereotype of college students being attracted to free food. Many of us don't get paid much, so we often take advantage of events around campus for a free meal. There’s one seminar in my program every week that has often made sure I have lunch on Monday (a day I often forget to pack it). If you live near your family member, invite them over for a home-cooked meal.


  • Support for their hobbies

When budgets are tight, we often give up the things that bring us joy. If the PhD student in your life has a hobby that you know they haven't pursued in a while, get them gift cards to a store that sells the materials they need (Joann's for a crafter, Pampered Chef for a baker, REI for a hiker). Be sure to use Google Maps to check what's around - many college towns are small and may not have all of the big chains you might expect.


One Last Tip

When talking to the PhD student in your family about their research, try to avoid vague questions like “so what are you studying again?” The wide-open nature of that question can be a bit aggravating. This is something they spend almost every day thinking about – figuring out where to start and how to explain it might be a bit of a challenge. Instead, try to frame your questions around whatever details you can remember. Some examples: “You’re doing something with bird song recordings, right?” “How was your field season in [location]?” “Last time we talked you were doing some kind of labwork…how’s that going?” Those questions might just help give them a direction to take the conversation in, and additionally show that you were listening all of the times they talked about it before.


If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading all the way. If you’re my family member, don’t feel like this is targeted at you – it really isn’t. This blog was born from a series of conversations with my officemates. One is a first-generation student and her parents really don’t get what this PhD-thing is all about. It got me thinking about how unclear this process can be even to some of us that are in the thick of it, so I chose to write it all out. I’m hoping it’s helpful, and I’d love to hear thoughts from other students about what I forgot.

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